اترك بصمة .....

يقول الدكتور مصطفى محمود رحمه الله (قيمة الأنسان هي مايضيفه للحياة منذ ميلاده حتى وفاته)
لو تأملنا في حياتنا وماذا اضفنا إليها لا وجدنا ليس  الكل بل  الأغلب أنهم لم يضيفوا في حياتهم اي شيىء يدل على وجودهم في هذه الحياة وانهم لم يتركوا شيىء يخلد ذكراهم بعد رحيلهم عن الدنيا ،لماذا نعيش دون ان نفكر في ترك بصمة أو علامة لنا تخلد ذكرانا بعد رحيلنا  عن الدنيا ؟
هل فكرتم بترك بصمة حتى تعرف  بوجودكم الأجيال القادمة ؟الا تريد ان تكون انسان فعال في المجتمع ؟ 
حاول أن تترك بصمة باافعالك لا بااقولك لان الافعال تدوم اكثر من اقوال، لاترضى على نفسك ان تكون مجهول او انسان خامل  . تولد مجهول و تموت مجهول حاول ان تصنع شيىء يكون لك بصمة بعد رحيلك .اعرف قيمتك من اضافتك للحياة .... اجعل نفسك قدوة للأخرين بأن تترك بصمة في مجتمعك او في العالم .اجعل لحياتك قيمة ..

ان كنت تقرا ......

إن كنت تقرأ ماأكتبه على صفحاتي في المواقع التواصل الأجتماعي و تراقبني من بعيد فاأقرا كلامي هذا ....:
سيدي لقد أشتقت إليك , اعرف انك لن تعود إلي لأنك أخترت انك تكمل حياتك من دوني و أخترت من النساء من تشاركك حياتك ولكني لم أستطع اكمال حياتي من دونك ولم أختر من رجال من يشاركني حياتي لاني مازالت احبك ,مازالت عاشقة متيمة بك , مازالت كلماتك تتردد في اذني ,مازالت اتذكر ملامح وجهك ,كيف لي أن أنسى من تغيرت بسببه , من جعلني ملكته , من كان معي طيلة رحلتي  واقامتي بعيدة عن موطني ,أنا لم انساك يامن أحببتك بصدق , لم أستطع ان انساك ,كلما حاولت ان أنساك أفشل في محاولة , سيدي انت ضد النسيان .اصبحت ارى وجهك في كل مكان , في تلفاز وفي الشارع ,و حتى في المارة .
اتعبني فراقك و ارهقني اشتاقي اليك . مر عامان منذ افتراقنا وانا مازالت اشتاق اليك في كل يوم وفي كل لحظة .
اكتب كلامي هذا وانا في قمة الاشتياق اليك , اكتب كلامي وانا في قمة ضعفي , اكتب كلامي هذا و دموع تسيل على وجنتي
اشتقت اليك ,اشتاقت روحي الى روحك . اشتاقت يدي الى لمسة من يدك .واشتاقت عيني الى رؤية وجهك .

أحتاج إلى...

أحتاج إلى أن أنام بعمق كا الأطفال ...

أحتاج أن لاأفكر باأحد سوئ نفسي ..

 أحتاج أن أخذ راحة من التفكير و من كل شيئ يتعبني و يرهقني ..

أحتاج إلى أن أهرب بعيد ، أن أكون لوحدي في عزلتي حيث لا ذكريات  ولاحزن ولا أنسان .

مرهقة أنا .....

عندما يأتي ليل وتنام الأعين تبقى عيني ساهرة يرفض النوم أن يكون ضيفي ككل يوم ,فأتذكر أجمل لحظات التي عشتها  ,آآآه  ذكريات كثيرة مع أشخاص مميزون رائعون فريدون كانوا عابري سبيل في حياتي فرحلوا وتركوا لي أشكالهم كلماتهم وذكرياتهم التي تؤلمني تتعبني ترهقني عندما أشعر بحنين والأشتياق إليهم فأاتذكرهم من ضمنهم  أبي رحمه الله .
في الماضي عندما كنت طفلة صغيرة ,كنت أعتقد أن أبي سيعيش للأبد و أنه سيكون حاضرا يوم تخرجي من الجامعة كما انه سيكون حاضرا يوم زفافي هذا حلم كل فتاة .ظلت هذه الفكرة تلازمني إلى أن جاء يوم الأثنين الموافق ٦/8 /1423 ورحل عني أبي رحمه الله.
أشتاق أحن أتألم أبكي بصمت تارة وتارة أخرى أبكي امام الملأ، احاول أن أخفي دموع الأشتياق والحنين إليهم و إلى أبي حتى أتجنب أسئلةعن سبب دموعي كل يوم وخاصة في هذا اليوم تحديدا.
كم هو مرهق ومتعب الأشتياق إلى أشخاص رحلوا من حياتك..
كم هو مؤلم تذكرهم .. كم موجع فراقهم ...مرهقة أنا واشتياقي لهم يرهقني أكثر فاأكثر ..

  

LOVE

when i was a little girl i used to hear about love and i used to see it in the movies and  i used to ask my self does love Exist ? if  a love exist why we can't see it ?or feel it ?then when i I grew up i know that love is something bigger what i imagined it's a complex feeling between happiness , sadness, missing your love ,depression and madness.

a love is sacrifice , it's requires balancing between your heart and your mind it's difficult equation but it's  a magical experience if you live it with someone hows really loves u .no one can win in this equation even Romans lost his life and  his mind  , when you fall in love be sure that you will lose your mind or your love if both of you where not be understanding each other .

The Memories

It's hard thing when you are thinking about a beautiful memories and you know that it's was the best thing happened in your life . 
sometime I live this feeling , will it's not sometime it's all the time , I see a quick flash passes front of my eye it's make me cry and smile in the same time like a crazy! 
I envy the fly it can't remember anything because it have a memories last for 3 seconds , lucky fly ..
the most hard memories that killing me it's when I remember people I had lost them .
There is no pill you can take it if you want forget the memories , you mast suffer every time you remember , u mast cry until you fall sleep or until your eye get swollen .
We don't need iPhone or iPad or blackberry we need a pill to forget the memories that hurt us and let's crying . Please we need it 

How can we kill the feeling of missing someone?

How can you kill the feeling of missing some one? 
It's hard thing when you miss someone faraway from you You keep asking your self does he OK ? does he sleep will? how is he? does he sad or happy? what is he doing right now? and the most important question is ( does he miss me or love me)?? 
maybe it's hard thing to know the answer , but you keep imagine that the answer it will be ( yes , I'm still thinking about you or I love u) because that what you want to hear , you feel a jealousy from his friends or his family because they can talk to him , go out with him , see him every day , or even they can laugh with him and you can't do this .
When you miss some one it's really hard thing it's like someone pull your heart out from your chest , and you can't do anything , because the one who's pull your heart out is the person you fall in with .
So can you tell me how can I kill my feeling when I miss someone ?

my rules

i have a rules that i put it front of my eye it says (live your life and don't care about how people are thinking about you , live every day as your last day ,have fun ,be happy and don't worry,smile even when you are crying,do what ever you want ,be your self and always say a truth ,say the words that in your heart or your mind,help the people , give and don't expect to take ,in the last if you love someone say to him or her ( i love you )or (i like you )Or My Favorites Word And Please Don't Steal It From Me (i Smurf you )♥♥

Soul Mate !!

All my life i wanted to grow-up , i wanted to grow older so people will take me seriously ,it all sound's good to me growing up getting a job getting married , and i used to think and really believe that there is a one true love for every one and if you fought hard enough for that Person your one true love will always work out, sound's good to me when i was a younger but it's doesn't work that way ,a lot of people say there is something called (soul mate) when i was a young girl i didn't really know what's that mean ???but now i really start to understand this word ,it's means to find a person who exactly like you ,Not physically but morally ,love what u love , think the way you think , some time i ask my self if there is a really soul mate ?what is the difference between a true love and soul mate? will i figure out the difference between them ,both are the same if you find your soul mate you will find a true love ,all of us want to find them and we start to search in the wrong places and sometime and up with tears because no one has tell us that we where searching in the wrong places ,and that is obvious because we where so thirsty to taste a true love , but it's really doesn't matter if we where searching for a true love in wrong places all the matter is to find it ,some people find it and some don't , if we want to find it we must keep searching every where even in the wrong places and we will find it and we will find our soul mate .

The Secret

Everyone in this world has a secret some people want to share their secrets with those who trust them, maybe they search for solution to their problems or for someone who listens to them and give them tips ,But some of them they don't want to share their secrets with anybody because they may be afraid of being judged or to think badly of them or they do not find who can understands them ,in the beginning  they will feel comfortable because they kept their secret in their heart but they can't keep it forever because they will feel that they can't do anything and they will feel of some guilt and that is a difficult thing when you keep a dark secret.

That's why we all search for someone we can trust ,an ally who understand, adviser we can trust ,a friend who never Judge ,yes we all need help hiding the darkest secrets in our lives ,because as soon as you tell one secret another is like to appear. 

i love to keep my secrets inside my heart and to search for the solution by my self , because that I learn how I can deal with my problems , you know  some people used to blackmail who trust Them . After they tells them their secrets , or they love to scandal other people when they knows their secrets , as Muslims we must respect the secrets of others and don't blackmail them or scandal them , if any one came to me and tell me his or her secrets I will respect it and I will keep it inside my heart  like my secret , I really don't trust of anyone to tell him or her my dark secret , yes I have dark secrets but no one know , even my own mom , she does not  know about them ,  only knows about my secrets is  god . and i hate it when someone ask me about it ..